


don't stop me now

by aurora_chiroptera



Category: The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin
Genre: Alternate Universe, Camping, On the Run, Other, Sorve is also mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21955945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_chiroptera/pseuds/aurora_chiroptera
Summary: Reverse AU- Harth Estraven, as they are called on Earth, is the first envoy to the planet. When they find themselves threatened by one nation, they escape with the help of the bureaucrat that had been assigned to babysit them.Set in the present day. For the Left Hand of Darkness 2019 Holiday gift exchange.
Relationships: Genly Ai & Sorve Harth rem ir Estraven, pre Genly Ai/Therem Harth rem ir Estraven
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	don't stop me now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beamkatanachronicles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beamkatanachronicles/gifts).



> Based on the prompt: diplomat Estraven AU, on or off Gethen.

When Harth had taken on the mission to be the first envoy to Earth, they thought they were prepared for all that such a commitment meant. They had left their world, their family, their parent, and children, to risk it all on the chance they could make contact with a young species that had barely left their own atmosphere.

Harth sat across from Genly in a restaurant booth. Genly seemed to be very irritated. This happened a lot in the past six months, the two of them unable to meet in perfect understanding. Maybe it was in part because of how much time they had to spend together.

Genly believed them at least, believed their mission and that they were an alien. Harth had allowed themselves to be poked and prodded for a long while, let tests be run on themself. Genly had read those reports, and those on Harth’ ship, before being assigned to be a guide to Harth as they moved through the world.

Harth hadn't been allowed to speak in public. They had spoken to the United Nations, whom they first tried to contact. Such contact was kept a secret from the citizens of Earth, unfortunately. They had not spoken directly to the president of the United States, where they now found themselves staying.

And now they were here in a diner, an American classic, in the late evening eating breakfast foods. Such reversed customs were baffling, but Harth rather enjoyed waffles and didn't complain. They tried to enjoy them now as Gently scowled at them as if this was all their fault.

"Are you going to just drink that?" Harth asked, pointing at the coffee mug in front of Genly. "Isn't it rather late for such stimulants?"

Genly nodded but didn't roll his eyes. Harth had noticed that was something humans did a lot around them, though often would try to hide it because it was rude. "I'm not hungry."

"Alright," Harth said, and ate their bacon. It wasn't cooked as crispy as they liked it, but they could still use the protein. They had been taking kemmer suppressants for the last three months they had been on Earth and their body did not take to particularly them well.

"What do you really want from us?" Genly asked, pushing his mug forward as if he couldn't even stomach the coffee. Harth wouldn't blame him if that was the case. They didn't like coffee from what they had tasted. It made them feel sick and jittery, their system not made for caffeine.

"I want Earth to join the Ekumen in trade agreements, to share knowledge and resources," Harth said, tilting their head to one side. Genly knew this, it was what they had told everyone who asked. He must have heard the words so many times now.

"No, that is why you were sent here," Genly sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why are you, personally, here? Why did you choose this life? You must have known it would be dangerous."

"I did," Harth said, fiddling with the napkin in their lap. "I chose it because I know the importance of peace that such a deal can bring. Did you know there is no word for ‘war’ on my world?"

Genly blinked. "That isn't something you’ve mentioned."

"We almost had to invent one, because of nationalism that seeped into the Gethenian governments like poison," Harth picked up their water and sipped it, the ice cubes bumping their lips. They put the cup down to find that Genly was still watching them. "That was many years ago, especially now. The faster than light travel... 70 years would have passed on my planet since I have left it."

"Your family," Genly protested. Harth knew that family was important to humans, as it was to all of the Hainish peoples. Earth had many types of families, as Gethen did, all equally important. "You’ll never see them again."

"If I ever return home, I may meet my great-grandchildren," Harth said, accompanies by a pang of longing for Gethen, especially in the hot, muggy air of the US capital.

"All this to go to an alien world that may not even listen to you?" Genly asked.

"As I have said, it is for peace," Harth pushed the last pieces of egg and waffle around their plate. They didn't have an appetite any longer. It was not good to speak of such things over a meal, but Earth didn’t have such a custom of separation. "I know what it meant to my own world, and I would like to share that with others. Please don't take this the wrong way, but Earth seems sorely lacking in the ways of peace."

Genly nodded, looking down at his hands. "Yes, we seem to be a people much better at war than at peace."

"I don't believe that is the case."

Genly gives a bitter laugh. "You have too much faith in us, Mx. Estraven."

"I don't think you have enough," Harth challenged, which they wouldn't have if this was someone besides Genly. But for some weird reason, they had begun to trust Genly. A tentative friendship was building between them, despite their conflicts, and Harth hoped that it would be what they needed to gain the trust of pragmatic human.

Genly's eyebrows lifted in surprise, but then he let out a laugh. It was more honest than his laughter before. "I hope you’re able to prove me wrong Mx. Estraven."

"I share in this hope, Mr. Ai."

That late-night breakfast seemed so long ago now. Harth had become a wanted fugitive and suspected spy. That would have been the end of them and their mission if not for Genly helping them disappear. They hadn’t thought it was possible to vanish in this society of watchful states, but Genly was making it work. Maybe that was because he had worked for the government for so long, he had caught on to all the tricks.

This rather alarming camper they were on the run in was going to take some getting used to. It swayed when they went over any bump and seemed to tip alarmingly when they went around corners. Genly swore it would be what they needed to blend in and not make a scene.

"Think of this like an extended camping trip," Genly was saying now, his grip on the steering wheel betraying the nerves that he actually felt. "You’ll get to see some of the most beautiful locations in the country."

"And the most remote?" Harth asked, and chuckled so Genly would know they were not upset. This had always been the danger of being an envoy, and they knew it well. They had studied the stories of envoy missions that had gone well and those that had gone poorly and knew it could go very, very poorly.

"Yeah," Genly's breathy laugh brought Harth's attention back. "A tour of the most remote and beautiful places! Ah, it is going to be so embarrassing when you have to report all this to your people."

Now that Harth genuinely laughed at. "Oh, there have been much worse, trust me. And your world as a whole seems welcoming it's just..."

"Some people are behind the times and don't like the implication of aliens," Genly said, shaking his head but keeping his eyes on the road. Harth appreciated that. "That there could be peace and greater technology. It hurts the profit margins of a country so focused on funding the military."

It was then that Harth fully understood that Genly was not as much as a pragmatist as they had thought him to be. Genly was just as much of a dreamer, chasing that mad hope of saving his people from his government's folly. And maybe Harth was too much of a dreamer themself, but they thought that Genly might just be able to do just that.

As long as they were both able to survive this camper and trip. Genly smacked the radio on and began to hum along with what was being sung. Harth took out their notebook and began to write another letter, handwriting shaky due to the bumps in the road: 

_Sorve,_  
_It is only our second day on the run, but I have begun to see the appeal of the music known as 'rock and roll'. At the very least, it tends to cover up the ways the camper rattles..._

The forests of Earth made Harth want to take up crafting poetry or song. Genly had parked the camper on land it seemed no one owned, even though everything was owned by someone in this country. Genly had taken them near his own home state and stashed the two of them away. They had a lot of food and other supplies, so they could hunker down and let their trail grow cold. They needed to get to one of the borders, fleeing to where Harth would be able to call their ship down to meet with the UN. Canada would be easier, being less guarded. They could surrender themselves to Canadian authorities and be able to make contact.

But, that plan still needed time, by Genly's estimate, for them to lie low. Because Harth was relatively well known to other countries officials, it might be that the world would put enough pressure to allow Harth's safety without them needing to cross borders. But Genly was not leaving that up to chance.

And so here Harth was, standing under towering pines as the rain fell. The smell of the alien forest was heady, the feeling of the cool water a wonderful reprieve from the summer heat. The soil and fallen needles were soft against Harth's feet and all of it felt like freedom. Especially after being cooped up for so long in the camper.

The rustle of ferns and soft footsteps had Harth turning to find Genly. He was smiling, an open smile slowly being hidden by his beard, drops of rain shining like jewels in his black hair. "I wondered where you’d gone off to," he said, stopping a foot away.

Despite the fact that they had been spending nearly every waking moment together, Harth found they didn't mind. Something about Genly, the more Harth got to really know him, seemed familiar. Maybe their spirits were similar enough, something that Harth would not have believed themselves to be thinking only weeks ago.

"The rain is beautiful," Harth said, matching his smile. "It’s nice to enjoy it. On Gethen it is often life-threatening, especially in winter."

"Maybe I will get to see your world one day," Genly said, tipping his head back, eyes closed to let the rain fall onto him. Harth watched the droplets highlight his neck, the strong Adam’s apple that no one had on their world.

"I don't think you would like Gethen much, Mr. Ai," Harth said, unable to look away. That's when they realized that they were reacting to Genly in a whole different way than they had before. This was because they had not been able to take their kemmer suppressant since they went on the run, left as it was with their ansible and all their other belongings.

"No?" Genly almost sounded hurt, as he turned his gaze back to Harth, blinking away the water drops on his lashes. "You think me of such a weak constitution?"

"I didn't say you wouldn't survive Gethen," Harth tutted, trying to turn their mind away from thought patterns that could make this all very awkward. "I just said that you would not like it. You are made for a warmer world with gentle rains."

"Well," Genly sighed, running a hand over his beard. "I guess I’ve never learned how to ski. So that would be an issue."

"Just one of many I am sure," Harth shook their head at him, and resisted the urge to step closer. It was always strange, that kemmer would react even to an alien. 

"Mx. Estraven, you alright?" Genly asked, and he was the one who stepped closer. Goodness, they had never even explained kemmer, hadn't needed to. And now that was going to be an issue. They flinched away when Genly reached out a hand to touch their arm in comfort. He pulled back and didn't hide his own hurt fast enough.

"I... I will be," Harth said, clasping their hands together. "It is hard to explain."

"Oh," Genly murmured, then he turned and walked back to the camper. "I’ll let you be."

Harth watched him go with an ache they knew had nothing to do with kemmer and everything to do with the affection they had begun to feel for the prickly human man. Shaking their head to try and clear it, they reached out to one of the trees nearby and murmured, "I wish you could give me some answers to how your world works because I have yet to understand."

Needles and raindrops coming together was the only sound that answered them.

It was two more days before they were fully in kemmer and decided they would have to explain to Genly. He had been keeping his distance after they had flinched away from him several more times, the same hurt coloring his expression. He did not have the face of a diplomat, his feelings lingered too close to the surface. But that might just be one of the things that they liked best about him.

"Do you remember the tests that were run on me?" Harth asked, from their place at the little table in the camper. Genly was laying in the bottom bed of the bunks in the far back, pretending to read a book even as Harth caught his eyes on them every few minutes.

"Yes, they must have been horrible," Genly said, pushing himself up. He sat, head bowed so as not to hit his head. Even among humans, he was rather tall, and the camper couldn't accommodate that.

"They were what I expected," Harth said, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "But they proved what I needed them too. However, there is one aspect, specific to Gethenian biology that they did not reveal."

Genly nodded, and then looked at the floor. "Ah... There were questions about how you... ah reproduce."

Harth held in their laughter at Genly's clear awkwardness. It wasn't his fault that his people treated the idea of sex as shameful. It was so different from Gethen or most of the other worlds.

Apparently, they weren't as successful at covering up their amusement as they thought, because Genly looked up at them and rolled his eyes. It had been some time since he had done so. "Alright. Is that what you mean?"

"It is," Harth said and it was their turn to look aside. "I was taking a drug that would keep me from entering kemmer, which is the state in which the Gethenian biology changes to be able to conceive children." They paused and couldn't help but poke at Genly again. "As well as to have the desire and enjoyment of sex."

"Oh." Genly's eyes were wide when Harth looked back up. His eyes flicked down and back up and down, as if he was trying not to look them over. "Um."

"Kemmer happens... about once a month, for those who are old enough," Harth added. "I can give you more information about it, but suffice to say, I had been suppressing it because that was not something that would help my diplomatic duties and now that I am without my supplies, I can not do so any longer. It means I will ask you not to touch me."

"Ah, of course," Genly said, eyes still comically wide. "Do you, ah, need anything? I had a boyfriend who always wanted chocolate when it was his time of the month?"

"Kemmer isn't similar to the human menstrual cycle," Harth said. "But I do appreciate the thought. I am very glad Gethen's are mostly not allergic to chocolate, it is certainly one of Earth's wonders." Genly still looked worried so Harth assured. "I'll be fine."

"You would let me know if you weren't?"

"Of course. I don't play by your culture’s expectations of gender norms. I will express any and all emotions I want."

Genly grinned at this. "As it should be. What must it be like, to live in a world without gender..."

"It certainly makes your world, and all others in the Ekumen, seem very alien," Harth admitted, fiddling with the pen they had been writing with.

"It would be amazing to see other worlds," Gently said with a wistful sigh. He then turned around and flopped over, hanging upside down to look at Harth.

"One day, my friend," Harth smiled. "And maybe I will be able to show them to you."

"I'd like that."

Genly seemed to become bored, having read all of the few books that had come on this journey with them. He could not use any higher technology for fear of being tracked, so there was no way to access more books online. Plus, Genly had explained there wasn't any such service this far out.

He was sitting beside them now, out in the forest. "Who do you write to?"

"My child," Harth said, knowing that the truth was the only thing to give.

"Your child?" Genly frowned. "I thought you said all your family had long since… with space travel..."

"Most of my family are lost to time for me," Harth agreed. "But Sorve traveled with me and would love to see this world. I write to them to experience the wonder of travel over again when I try and see it through their eyes."

Genly reached out, only to pull his hand back again. But Harth was out of kemmer, and leaned against his shoulder. "Why did you choose this life?"

"It was the only option," Harth said. "And Sorve thought so too. They have aged now in this travel here, but only several years more than I, as they do much of their own travel."

"Are they following in your footsteps?" Genly asked, leaning towards them as well and the two of them supported each other as they sat side by side. 

"They are," Harth smiled. "Together and apart we dance across the stars. Making the universe just a little better if we can."

"Now that’s a noble goal," Genly murmured. "And here you are, with your patience. It’s fortunate for Earth. I hope we’ll be able to deserve it."

"Maybe you should be an envoy, with your thoughtful words," Harth suggested, looking over at him.

"I don't know if I could be alone on an alien world," Genly said.

"I think, Genly Ai, you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"Are you sure it is going to be safe to travel now?" Harth asked, watching Genly put fuel into the camper. They had gotten attached to the little home far more than they would have expected. And not only because it had air conditioning. They had shared stories, passed the hours by with Genly. But there was much work to do, and Harth had to be ready. 

"It’ll never be completely safe, I think there will always be some risk," Genly said after a moment. "But in this case, I think it is worth taking."

"It was never my intent to bring someone along on such a dangerous mission," Harth felt the need to say.

"That's fine, I choose to be here," Genly smiled then, walking around the camper to check that everything was ready to drive. It had settled a bit in the time they had stayed here, but Genly seemed sure it would still run.

Harth wasn't sure what they would do if that were not the case. Taking one last look around the little clearing they had stayed in, making sure they were leaving nothing behind, Harth let themself have a moment to breathe. Possibly the last one for a long time. Then they ran around to the passenger side, settling beside Genly.

"Here goes nothing," Genly said, and turned the key. The engine turned over, slowly, but soon the camper was back to its rattling self.

Harth felt every bump in the road as they hurtled their way out of the forest and on into a world of unknowns. Reaching forward, they asked, "Can I turn on the radio?"

"That old thing, certainly. No one can track us through that."

Harth twisted the dial until music played out. Pulling out their book, they began another letter to Sorve.


End file.
